Personality quizzes are still all the rage, right? Not at all passé, I’m sure. But do you ever sit there and think “I wish there was one that really got me, that was really tailored to my interests and was super accurate”? Well don’t you worry, because I made one!
Which Overpriced Piece Of Merchandise Available For Sale On GOOP Are You?
Please share your results in the comments.
Homeless Monsters 
“You are a Band of Outsiders Plaid Cropped Sleeve Shirt! You are a mystery. Are you a farmer? Are you a hipster? Do you just like plaid? This seems like a totally reasonable shirt for a human to wear, so what is it doing on GOOP? You are a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in $475 limited edition Stella McCartney wrapping paper. I’m keeping an eye on you.”
I just like plaid!
Me too, and I also just like plaid.
“You are a GOOP Gift Card! Somebody call the doctor, because your tongue is permanently planted in your cheek! How else to explain your brazen claim that the strength of one’s love can be quantified in US dollars? Your friends prize your sense of humor, but they may be getting a bit tired of your gag gifts.”
Can I return myself for a partial cash refund?
I’m a gift card too!!!!
Thank you catweazle, this quiz is perfect.
Gift cards represent!
GC4LYFE
Bartender, a round of drinks for all of my fellow gift cards!
+1
I’m a $40 candle! That sounds correct!
Me too! Here’s the scoop: You are a Cedar Saffron Candle! You’re a bit of a con artist, bless your heart. You see what people want, dress it up with a bit of glitz and a famous name, and sell it for triple its value. As long as there are suckers out there, there will be a you to take their money. And more power to you! As long as we continue to kid ourselves that capitalism is a viable system, you will have a place right near the top of the food chain.
I was frankly surprised that it was under $100.
I’ll put them next to my Paula Deen cookbooks.
Are the Paula Deen books made of butter? #topical.
This is me too! I am not sure how I got here. I mean look at the description: “You have a warm heart, but are somewhat simple. And I mean that as a kind euphemism for being a dumb dummy.” Ugh. Is this because for Star Wars character, I picked Outer Space? So Quiz thinks I am a “space cadet”? I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE. NO: I stand by Outer Space. It is the one indispensable character. Yes, take away Han Solo and the movie starts to stink — but take away space and it’s not even a movie. Where would it take place without space? Reno? Buffalo? Set it on the Aleutian Islands, and what’s the Millennium Falcon become — a canoe? No thanks, “Sea Wars”! (It would be an outrigger canoe because of the way the cockpit is on the side.) OUTER SPACE IS THE SMART ANSWER AND I AM SMART. SMMAAAAARRRTTTTTT!!! NOTT DUMMMMBBBBBBB!!!
Don’t freak out, but Outer Space was the answer that gave big points for Bath Salts.
“Pick a Star Wars character” I AM FINALLY A PART OF THIS GAME! I picked Outer Space, though, so I don’t know how much watching those movies helped me to become a 500$ GOOP gift card.
I was literally just coming on here to ask if anyone actually chose outer space as a character. LOL. NOW I KNOW WHO!!!
On board with outer space.
Me too, as I just mentioned above, 9 hours after everyone else posted but 1 minute before reading the next/this comment, which turns out to be the correct place for discussion of Outer Space.
“You are a GOOP Gift Card! Somebody call the doctor, because your tongue is permanently planted in your cheek! How else to explain your brazen claim that the strength of one’s love can be quantified in US dollars? Your friends prize your sense of humor, but they may be getting a bit tired of your gag gifts.”
I will admit that I totally picked answers slightly at random, because of course I’m going to choose “space” as my Star Wars character. Also, what happens if you answer “no” to the last question? Do you spontaneously combust?
After getting the gift card the first time, I went back and answered each question exactly the same except for saying “no” to the final question. I got bath salts.
I like that mine costs $500.
I got gift card too…but I chose Han Solo (obvi!).
The strength of love can be quantified in US Dollars…just ask Michael Scott.
I’ve always thought of gift cards as the equivalent of giving someone cash, only they have to spend it at one specific place.
My favorite was the confused old man in front of me in the line at Arby’s, who was asking a million questions about the menu because he got a gift card for Christmas and had never eaten at an Arby’s before. I hope he disowned that particular family member.
I took my own quiz TOTALLY unbiased by the fact that I wrote all the questions and results and not at all because nobody has yet gotten this one and I want to share the fruits of my labor:
But full disclosure: the first time I took it I got the Band of Outsiders plaid shirt just like my evil twin Flanny!
Wait…does getting the same result in this quiz this mean Facetaco is MY evil twin? Because that kind of makes sense, actually. We both really like lardo.
Why do I have to be the evil one?!
Haha, just kidding, I am FOR SURE the evil one.
This is my new favorite Salem gif, and I don’t have the patience to wait until an appropriate time to post it.
What a terrible-looking robot!
That GIF speaks to my soul.
That reminds me that I need some new pots and pans. I should probably go for the GOOP ones, right?
I feel like now when I see that pic of Gwyneth, I just think…oh thats such an old pic. Does that make me old too?
Gwyneth makes us all old.
I am also stem cell transformer! It must be a Scorpio thing.
Also A Stem Cell Transformer, and I am extremely underpriced!
I’m a little sad that there is one result that nobody got. It was a hideous jumpsuit that meant you were a stone cold fashion bitch 😦